Things NOT to say to the partner of your dreams April 8, 2005
Posted by Martin in : Creative / Humour , trackbackI’m certainly no Cassanova, despite what you might have read or dreamt about but I can utter my share of love-phrases when I’m hungry, horny or just plain in the wrong. I know I’ve made a few pre- and post-coital indiplomacies in my time but I have been dribbling milk out my nose about what I heard today.
I won’t mention Anne’s name but I’d very much like to dedicate this writing to her and - credit where it’s due - she deseves some recognition for her compliment to the new man in her life …
“”You look ugly outside, but when you talk.. you are an incredible attractive guy.”
I can only think about how this poor guy has gone back to his apartment alone with a phrase like that tearing apart his brain in confusion and self-doubt.
It’s fortunately reminded me of a few similar incidences when I was not yet attending my charm-school-beginner classes.
I remember after my first passionate kiss and (an equally passionate cocktail of alcohol) uttering “Wow, you’ve got a really fat tongue”. I remember complimenting a girl on her nocturnal skills by asking her where she learnt how to do it like that. I also remember Barry reminiscing to me about complimenting a girl that with skills like hers she could go professional.
It’s a shame that all my great witty and first-hand phrases I was going to enter in this blog have been invented already. To save myself a lot of trouble you might want to take a peek at Air Disaster which has a pretty comprehensive list of things not to say in bed.
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